From the Vault — Don’t Poop Without This Scoop

By Andrew Holzman

The Hyde Park Herald has never been afraid to dig into the dirty work of local journalism. That’s true even when it comes to, well, dog poop. In our March 13, 1974 edition, the Herald printed a letter-to-the-editor which gave a step-by-step tutorial on picking up your little friend’s little surprise.

Here are my favorite parts of it:

Step one shows our author is a true expert, well acquainted with the technical terms involved in the poop scooping field: “Fold a sheet of newspaper to a size that will slide between the hind legs of your dog when it is in position to defecate. This will serve as a disposable scoop. Also prepare yourself with additional paper or a bag.”

Step three is where the magic happens: “When your dog gets into position to defecate[,] quickly slip the paper scoop, from behind, between its hind legs. This might require a little practice.” You can probably guess what happens after that.

As the author of this letter quipped, Hyde Park’s dog owners need not “tip-toe thru the tulips” if they use this technique.