Dear residents of South Blackstone Ave…

By Jeffrey Bishku-Aykul brought this neighborhood gem to reporter Lindsay Welbers’ attention: A note taped to a wooden bulletin board, standing over a pothole lazily covered with two wooden slabs and a perpendicular concrete block, near the intersection of  59th Street and Dorchester Avenue.


The mock letter from Mayor Emanuel, photographed on Sept. 13, takes several hilarious jabs at Chicago’s well-staffed, molasses-paced bureaucracy.


For example:

“After several months of careful review, we have decided that a few crappy pieces of wood hastily nailed together and light enough for any curious eight year old boy to move, is sufficient to guarantee everyone’s safety.”


“Please understand that currently, various departments of the city are operating under budget cuts, including the C.D.M.C. (Chicago Department of Manhole Covers). This department is severely understaffed with only two-hundred and fifty workers to answer phones and another fifty to replace missing manhole covers.”

The letter concludes with a tongue-in-cheek appeal to  caution:

“Please take care to get used to this situation and try your best not to break your f*cking leg in the winter when the ground is covered with a foot of snow.”

Finally, a swipe at the city’s famously austere rules and regulations:

“Removing this sign or any sign bearing the City of Chicago seal, carries a penalty of two years in prison and a fine of $300,000.”

We’re just going to go ahead and assume no one was available for comment.